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Editorial -- 12/7/98
First of all, please note that I am not a legal professional and please do not base any decisions you may be facing on what I say here. This is meant as a general statement of basic guidelines, not legal advice, and a discussion of my experiences. Please consult an attorney if you are contemplating divorce. In fact, get the best you can afford.
I believe it was Clarence Darrow who said, "There is no justice in or out of the courtroom."
It appears that this goes tenfold in divorce court. There are guidelines for property settlement and spousal support, but judges totally ignore them if they wish. They can strip you of all your property, give all the equity in jointly-held real estate to your ex-spouse, and force you into bankruptcy with excessive spousal support. Yet there is no appeal, and you can be held in Contempt of Court if you do not comply with the court order -- even if you do not have the means to do so. And it does not matter if you are male or female, I know of several women who were screwed over at least as badly as I was.
Divorce law varies from state to state (that is part of the problem) and its application is inconsistent even among different judges in the same courthouse. But from my own research (everything is on the web now) and discussions with legal professionals, the following are general guidelines followed by many states. Without going into a lot of detail, I will contrast what the guidelines are with what happened to me.
Most states have a "presumption" of equal distribution. This basicly means that you should have a 50-50 split. My ex got everything in the house; I was staying in a small furnished apartment and only retained a small TV, a $60 boombox, an old VCR, a four-year old PC, my clothes and some other items such as books and records. My ex had not paid for anything; she refused to work even part-time until our child was in high school; even then she refused to pay for her car insurance or anything else. Yet she got all the furniture and her car, which I paid for. Why?
Jointly-titled real estate is generally ordered to be sold and the net receipts split, unless one party can buy out the other's interests or they come to an arrangement agreed to by the court. I received no equity in the house despite the fact that I had made the down payment, closing costs, and all mortgage payments. Why?
Most people think spousal support is a thing of the past. Well, not really, depending largely on where you live. If you have been married a long time (especially if you've passed the 20 year mark) and your spouse either refuses to work or works but earns significantly less, you are very likely looking at spousal support until they remarry or one of you dies. Shame on you if you showed a little ambition and finished a degree at night; even if your spouse was a hindrance rather than a help to your getting an education, it's another factor for support. This is true even if you constantly urged your spouse to do something with their lives and go to school while you were married. In my own case, I was ordered to pay twice what either of the lawyers I used had told me to expect. This order occurred about a year after our separation. A few months later, I had a change in employment resulting in almost a 50% reduction in pay. (Why is a long story that I will leave for the article I'm writing.) Note that spousal support is supposed to be modified under such circumstances. My lawyer was unable to obtain a reduction in support. Why?
Everyone I've talked to (lawyers and other divorced people) say that debts are usually split down the middle. I was burdened with all the debt. Why?
I have heard that courts strive to achieve an equitable settlement where both parties can get on with their lives. Bottom line, my ex-spouse's net worth is $200,000 more than mine. Where is the fairness in that?
And just in case you're wondering, there was no adultery, spousal abuse, etc. that was factored into the settlement. I believe in many states, these circumstances are rarely considered now anyway except in extreme circumstances.
I think my case, and many others, underlines the need for reform. There needs to be some type of appeal. No one person should have the power to have the kind of impact on someone's life that a divorce court judge has. When a decision is handed down that is totally outside guidelines and beyond any semblance of fairness, the victim of the judge's unfairness must have some recourse.
One final point: Child support or custody was not an issue in my case. I know it often is, and would like to hear from others how fair they think the courts are in this regard. I'm already familiar with a few horror stories.
I would like to hear other's experiences; I would like to hear from legal professionals; and I would like to hear of research resources you could recommend.
Your input is welcome.